Freshly Squeezed OpEd: The Day That Wall St. Grew Up

Jun 9, 2014 | OpEd | 0 comments

Once upon a time, or perhaps twice, there was a special place built of gold where borrowers and lenders of various sorts and sizes would gather daily to transact all manner of business.
This place was known as Wall Street. And rightly so, as an invisible wall had been built to keep out facts, news and all nature of reality that could possibly make the money counters feel sad.
The local inhabitants were perplexed by all of this as the money changers on Wall Street usually were easily amused. All you had to do was dangle shiny, whirring objects in front of their faces and they would all become very excited and remain happy for at least several days.
Now at the same time, many, many miles away there was a magical kingdom known as Pomme. Here they created many shiny and magical things that pleased the villagers greatly, providing seemingly countless hours of amusement and pleasure.
For some unknown reason, the money counters did not share in in the villager’s happiness. They would grumble regarding this and that to anyone that would lend an ear. To all appearances, Pomme could not create shiny things fast enough for them to count money at an ever-increasing pace.
But then one day something unexpected and magical happened. Good King Cooke and his knights (in particular Sir Jonny-on-Ive) turned the grumblings into gleeful sighs of relief.
But how could they accomplish such a seemingly impossible feat? By using merely a handful of letters – WWDC.
But what was so magical about these letters? No one could say. They had been muttered on many occasions in the past. Yet the money counters usually found themselves left distressed and filled with consternation.
So, what made this same handful of letters reassure them that all was now well in the kingdom? No one was sure. The villagers themselves were perplexed. Especially as there were no shiny, whirring things to be seen anywhere!
A multitude of villager’s were inclined to believe that it had to do with the King’s promise to exchange one head of cattle for seven head of goats. This, many thought, was surely most likely the reason for their joy.
Yet still, there were a handful of villagers that dared believe in their hearts the apparently impossible had taken place. Perhaps, just perhaps, after all of this time, a few of the inhabitants of Wall Street had finally come to accept the lesson of Aesop’s The Tortoise and The Hare.
With the exception that you could probably replace the hare with either the iPhone 6 or Apple TV, and the tortoise with R & D or maybe Eddy Cue for this story.


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