Every year I’m afforded the opportunity to rewrite the same Op-Ed from the previous year.

Ok, let’s start by opening the thesaurus. Look up Apple fanboi or girl. You’ll find the synonym ‘gullible’.

After lo these many years, at what point is it going to dawn upon the faithful that Apple “cannot change the laws of physics”. You need only to spend one afternoon on YouTube to realize it’s never going to sink in.

This yea’rs hopes and unicorns lean on three filings with the EEC. From these three documents, I have seen probably no less than two dozen assertions as to what devices they represent.

This one is obviously a mobile device. Must be the SE 3. This one obviously refers to the entry-level MacBook. And this final number must refer to a desktop, more than likely the Mac mini. But Pro or consumer?

Two minutes later, on another respected YouTube channel, they have reliable information that Apple will release three monitors.

The only thing I haven’t heard attributed to these numbers is some variation of the MacRib somehow involving AI.

How many years will this go on? Each year, it gets worse and worse. Because Apple is doing such a good job of pranking us, many of these shows have evolved partially into pseudo-entertainment vehicles to fill time.

Vehicle? Vehicle? Could it be the Apple Car?

Does anybody remember a character named Steve Jobs. He famously said that Apple invented things you didn’t even know you needed.

So, why is it now we know exactly what we require?

The most hilarious thing is watching people insisting they need more battery life. As if Apple could with the snap of a finger manage to make battery life quadruple without thinking twice. Screw physics…

Then after these months of speculation and hyperbole follows the predictable rabid disappointment. How could they not have (place your despondency of choice here).

What has to happen for everyone to wake up to reality? They’ve been working on improving these devices for years, sometimes a decade. Why do you need to deep down believe that somehow they’re going to turn the world of battery technology upside-down in a single quarter?

I really do hope that whatever you’re wishing for, Apple takes steps in that direction. But they’ll be baby steps. Remember, Jobs said that they had been operating OS X on Intel chips since Day One. That was years before they made the transition.

As far as I can tell, time still takes time. So, take a deep breath, turn on the event, and enjoy the ride. Enjoy. Besides, the stuff they will release, you’re more than likely never going to come close to pushing the limits of. Ever.

Or why not be the person who dreams up the next thing we didn’t know we needed. And remember to always hold out for one more thing.

©2022 Frank Petrie